Wherefore, I beg you, hear a little reason, Its loving fubjects hope that government "Let not your noble courage be caft down," No, no, depend upon't, your doom In fpeech and writings bold, Tell us we're bought and fold, And thunder out Reform; Need you with fretting, or with fear, grow thinner? You will not lofe one corporation dinner : Their tropes are good, it is divine to hear them; But fhould the people once begin, (The fickle-mind, I fay no more, Coarse-grain'd, who fear nor wind nor weather, To borough-jobbing then adieu; Snug Snug finecures, and penfions, all, good bye! OFF FRENCH IMPIETY. F all the impieties that have been imputed to the French, the following, which appeared in one of the Paris papers, is perhaps the most abominable Converfation between a young Prieft and an old. The young Prieft.-What are you doing, Brothers? I am indignant The old Prieft.-Against whom? Y. Against every body, and against you. you ? Y. You have married, and afk me this question! O. Love of morals and of my country induced me to marry. It is faid, and not without reason, that he who has not a wife of his own, reckons little on the wives of his neighbours; and this fcandal I wished to avoid. Befides, freemen cannot be too much multiplied; and I am defirous of contributing my mite, according to God's command. Y. You are a Schifmatic. O. That I am not; for I fide with the great family of fociety. Y. You are unworthy of being a Prieft. O. Admitted: I do not expect to be one long. Y. And if each of us were to do as you do, who would pray for the faithful? O. Nobody; which would induce the faithful to pray for themfelves. Y. And who would fing the praises of the Lord? Y. Who would confefs? O. People would do as in the primitive times of Christianity; they would confefs to one another. Y. Who Y. Who would fay Mass? O. Jefus Chrift never instituted Mass. O. The Magiftrate. Y. Who would baptize? O. The firft Christian that came in the way, as the Church empowers every Chriftian to do. Y. Who would bury? O. That the Civil Magiftrate is to look to. Y. To hear you, the people might do without Priefts. O. If the people think fo, I have no objection. Y. But if our laws and inftitutions should teach morality, religion would then be useless. O. Abfolutely, in your fenfe of the word. To love and to serve our country, to be just to our fellow-citizens, is to do all that is most agreeable to man and to God. Y. You are an innovator. O. By no means; for my opinion was the fame when we had Grand Almoners and Cardinals. Y. God will punish you. O. He has the power; but I honour him too much, to be afraid that he will. Y. What! no more Priefts! O. I do not say that we will have no more Pricfts; 1 fay only that we can do without them. Y. Why! this is precisely what ought not to be faid; for if the people once believe that they can do without Priefts, they will do without them. O. So much the worse for the Priests. Y. You are an impious wretch! an Atheift! and you will repent the hand you have had in contributing to make the French unhappy in the world to come. O. I will confole myfelf with feeing them free and happy in this world. MILITARY H MILITARY ECONOMY.* OBBES has maintained, that the natural ftate of mankind is a ftate of war. Notwithstanding the offence which this affertion has given to many, I cannot but be difpofed to think it well-founded. When we fee Sovereigns wilfully plunging their people into wars, which muft, at least, put to fome hazard the advantages of their perfonal elevation-when we hear the multitude clamouring for hoftilities, the only confequence of which to them must be burdenfome impofts-when we fee the foldier impatient for a battle, in which his life and limbs are to be rifked, without the prospect of any benefit to him in the oppofite scale -what can be inferred, but that the innate propensity of the animal overbears every dictate of reason. This being the cafe, it is the part of a true philofopher to refrain from hopeless attempts to correct this obliquity of the human mind, and to bound his endeavours to extracting a partial benefit from the general perverfenefs of difpofition. Military arrangements must be confidered under two conditions, that of reft, and that of exertion: for it is the characteristic of man's evil inclination, contrary to that of any other animal, that immediate provocation is not required to excite his malignity. But upon a remote and indiftinct view of eventual opportunities, he fafhions and concocts before hand the mifchief which he is to exercise against his fellow-creatures. Phyfical caufes may, upon due reflection, be found for every fingularity in nature. The difference of man, in the refpect alluded to, from the reft of the brute creation, may, perhaps, arise from his dereliction of that quadruped pofture, fo ably proved by Lord Monboddo, to have been the original habit of the human race. I do not infer, as fhort-fighted arguers have done, that man taking from his erect pof *This whimsical plan is not fo very distant from fact as it may appear. Attempts have been made to fertilize barren tracts of land, by encamping cavalry upon them. ture ture a wider scope of view, thence embraces at once more objects to animate his paffions: because I think the extenfion of horizon gained by an additional elevation of two or three feet, entirely inadequate to the effect. My hypothefis proceeds upon a much fimpler principle. We know that it is the nature of effluvia, from all fubftances, to mount directly upwards; at least, where not exposed to a current of air. Now my conceit is, that from the erect pofture of man, the vapour generated in his entrails-which we know from its cafual efcapes to be highly exalted-muft continually titilate and exacerbate his brain. Hence, when no prefent cause awakens him to fury, he is nevertheless gratified with the shew of preparation for mischief. This I take to be indubitably the cause why standing armies have become reconcilable not only to those who compose them, but to thofe alfo who, by their contributions, maintain them. The peafant, it is true, feels it a grievance, that the pittance hardly earned by his labour, fhould be squeezed from him to furnish fubfiftence to those enrolled machines; and he may perhaps at times confider their force as no very comfortable curb on his convenience. But he rationally confoles himself for thefe petty diffatisfactions, with the gracious hope that, fome time or other, another community will fuffer out of all proportion more from thofe tormentors than he does himself. If one can leave to the true-born Englishman this pleafing imagination; and, on the other hand, give him a commutation for his difcontent, it must be deemed a national service of no ordinary importance. The late augmentation of the army in this country, and a grateful expectation that it will not be speedily reduced, Ted my mind to reflect whether it was indeed impoffible to extract fomewhat of utility from fuch a hoft, fupported at the expence of their fellow-citizens. Fortune feemed to have smiled in granting, at this juncture, the concurrence of a novel establishment, most admirably fuited to the point of my lucubrations. Nay, I am almoft tempted to believe, that a special Providence, F acting |