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Now to apply; begin we then;
His wand's a modern author's pen!
The serpents round about it twined,
Denote him of the reptile kind;
Denote the rage with which he writes,
His frothy slaver, venomed bites;
An equal semblance still to keep,
Alike do both conduce to sleep.
This difference only, as the good
Drove souls to Tartarus with his rod,
With his goose quill the scribbling elf,
Instead of others, damns himself.
And here my simile almost tript;
Yet grant a word by way of postscript.
Moreover, Mercury had a failing;
Well! what of that? out with it-stealing :
In which all modern bards agree,
Being each as great a thief as he:
But e'en this deity's existence
Shall lend my simile assistance.
Our modern bards ! why what a pox
Are they but senseless stones and blocks?
IN IMITATION OF DEAN SWIFT.
LOGICIANS have but ill defined
As rational the human mind :
Reason, they say, belongs to man,
But let them prove it if they can.
Wise Aristotle and Smiglesius,
By ratiocinations specious,
Have strove to prove with great precision,
With definition and division,
Homo est ratione præditun ;
But for my soul I cannot credit 'em ;
And must in spite of them maintain,
That man and all his ways are vain ;
And that this boasted lord of nature
Is both a weak and erring creature;
That instinct is a surer guide,
Than reason-boasting mortal's pride ;
And that brute beasts are far before 'em,
Deus est anima brutorum.
Who ever knew an honest brute
At law his neighbour prosecute,
Bring action for assault and battery,
Or friend beguile with lies and flattery?
O'er plains they ramble unconfined,
No politics disturb their mind;
They eat their meals, and take their sport,
Nor know who's in or out at court:
They never to the levee go
To treat as dearest friend, a foe:
They never importune his grace,
Nor ever cringe to men in place;
Nor undertake a dirty job,
Nor draw the quill to write for Bob.
Fraught with invective, they ne'er go
To folks at Paternoster-row;
No judges, fiddlers, dancing-masters,
No pickpockets, or poetasters,
Are known to honest quadrupeds ;
No single brute his fellows leads.
Brutes never meet in bloody fray,
Nor cut each other's throat for pay.
Of beasts, it is confessed the ape
Comes nearest us in human shape;
Like man he imitates each fashion,
And malice is his ruling passion;
But both in malice and grimaces,
A courtier any ape surpasses.
Behold him, humbly cringing, wait
Upon the minister of state :
View him soon after, to inferiors,
Aping the conduct of superiors,
He promises, with equal air,
And to perform takes equal care.
He in his turn fin imitators;
At court, the porters, lackeys, waiters,
Their master's manners still contract,
And footmen, lords, and dukes, can act.
Thus at the court both great and small
Behave alike, for all ape all.
Good people all, with one accord,
Lament for madam Blaize, Who never wanted a good word,
From those who spoke her praise.
The needy seldom passed her door,
And always found her kind; She freely lent to all the poor,
Who left a pledge behind.
She strove the neighbourhood to please,
With manners wondrous winning; And never followed wicked ways,
Unless when she was sinning
At church, in silks and satins new,
With hoop of monstrous size ; She never slumbered in her pew,-
But when she shut her eyes.
Her love was sought, I do aver,
By twenty beaux and more; The king himself has followed her,
When she has walked before.
But now her wealth and finery fled,
Her hangers-on cut short all;
The doctors found, when she was dead,
Her last disorder mortal.
Let us lament, in sorrow sore,
For Kent-street well may say,
That had she lived a twelve month more.
She had not died to-day.
ON THE DEATH OF A MAD DOG.
Good people all, of every sort,;
Give ear unto my song ;
And if you find it wondrous short,
It cannot hold you long.
In Islington there was a man,
Of whom the world might say, That still a godly race he ran,
Whene'er he went to pray.
A kind and gentle heart he had,
To comfort friends and foes; The naked every day he clad,
When he put on his clothes.