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Or an Irish Dump ("the words by


At an amateur concert screamed in Up!' said the Spirit, and, ere I could pray

So harsh on my ear that wailing fell One hasty orison, whirled me away Of the wretches who in this Limbo To a limbo, lying—I wist not where - dwell ! Above or below, in earth or air; It seemed like the dismal symphony All glimmering o'er with a doubtful of the shapes Æneas in hell did see ; light,

Or those frogs, whose legs a barbarous One couldn't say whether 'twas day or cook night;

Cut off, and left the frogs in the brook, And crossed by many a mazy track, To cry all night, till life's last dregs, One didn't know how to get on or back; "Give us our legs!--give us our legs !". And I felt like a needle that's going Touched with this sad and sorrowful astray

scene, (With its one eye out) through a bundle I asked what all this yell might mean? of hay;

When the Spirit replied, with a grin When the Spirit he grinned, and

of glee, whispered me,

''Tis the cry of the suitors in Chan• Thou'rt now in the Courtof Chancery!' Around me flitted unnumbered swarms I looked, and I saw a wizard rise, Of shapeless, bodiless, tailless forms; With a wig like a cloud before men's (Like bottled-up babes that grace the eyes.

In his agèd hand he held a wand, Of that worthy knight, Sir Everard Wherewith he beckoned his embryo Home)

band, All of them things half-killed in rear- And they moved, and moved, as he ing;

waved it o'er, Some werelame-some wanted hearing; But they never got on one inch the Some had through half-a-century run,

more ; Though they hadn't a leg to stand upon. And still they kept limping to and fro, Others, more merry, as just beginning, Like Ariels round old ProsperoAround on a point of law were spin. Saying, "Dear Master, let us go;' ning;

But still old Prospero answered, “No.' Or balanced aloft, 'twixt Bill and And I heard the while, that wizard elf, Answer,

Muttering, muttering spells to himself, Lead at each end—like a tight-rope While over as many old papers he dancer.

turned, Some were so cross, that nothing could As Hume e'er moved for, or Omar please 'em :

burned. Some gulped down affidavits to ease He talked of his Virtue, though some, 'em ;

less nice, All were in motion, yet never a one,

(He owned with a sigh) preferred his Let it move as it might, could ever move


And he said, 'I think '-'I doubt *These,' said the Spirit, you plainly

*I hope,' see,

Called God to witness, and damned the Are what are called Suits in Chancery!' Pope :

With many more sleights of tongue and I heard a loud screaming of old and hand young,

I couldn't, for the soul of me, underLike a chorus by fifty Velutis sung; stand.


my bed

Amazed and posed, I was just about
To ask his name, when the screams

The merciless clack of the imps with-

in, And that conjuror's mutterings, made

such a din,

That, startled, I woke-leaped up in
Found the Spirit, the imps, and the

conjuror Hled,
And blessed my stars, right pleased to
That I wasn't as yet in Chancery.


DEAR Coz, as I know neither you nor Miss Draper,
When Parliament's up, ever take in a paper,
But trust for your news to such stray odds and ends
As you chance to pick up from political friends-
Being one of this well-informed Class, I sit down,
To transmit you the last newest news that's in town.
As to Greece and Lord Cochrane, things couldn't look better-

His Lordship (who promises now to fight faster)
Has just taken Rhodes, and despatched off a letter

To Daniel O'Connell, to make him Grand Master ;
Engaging to change the old name, if he can,

From the Knights of St. John to the Knights of St. Dan-
Or, if Dan should prefer, as a still better whim

Being made the Colossus, 'tis all one to him.
From Russia the last accounts are, that the Czar-
Most generous and kind, as all sovereigns are,
And whose first princely act (as you know, I suppose)
Was to give away all his late brother's old clothes -
Is now busy collecting, with brotherly care,

The late Emperor's night-caps, and thinks of bestowing
One night-cup apiece (if he has them to spare)

On all the distinguished old ladies now going.
(While I write an arrival from Riga—the Brothers -
Having night-caps on board for Lord Eld-n and others.)
Last advices from India—Sir Archy, 'tis thought,
Was near catching a Tartar (the first ever caught
In N. lat. 21)-and his Highness Burmese,
Being very hard pressed to shell out the rupees,
But not having much ready rhino, they say, meant
To pawn his august golden foot for the payment.-
(How lucky for monarchs, that can, when they choose,
Thus establish a running account with the Jews !)
The security being what Rothschild calls.goot,'
A loan will be forthwith, of course, set on foot ;-
The parties are Rothschild-A. Baring and Co.,
And three other great pawnbrokers-each takes a toe,
*This Potentate styles himself the Monarch of the Golden Foot.

And engages (lest Gold-foot should give us leg bail,
As he did once before) to pay down on the nail.
This is all for the present-what vile pens and paper !
Yours truly. dear Cousin—best love to Miss Draper.

AIR– Come with me, and we will go

Where the rocks of coral grow.'
COME with me, and we will blow
Lots of bubbles, as we go;
Bubbles, bright as ever Hope
Drew from fancy-or from soap ;
Bright as e'er the South Sea sent
From its frothy element !
Come with me, and we will blow
Lots of bubbles as we go.
Mix the lather, Johnny W—lks,
Thou who rhym'st so well to 'bilks :?
Mix the lather-- who can be
Fitter for such task than thee,
Great M.P. for Sudsbury !
Now the frothy charm is ripe,
Puffing Peter, bring thy pipe, -
Thou, whom ancient Coventry
Once so dearly loved, that she
Knew not which to her was sweeter,
Peeping Tom or puffing Peter-
Puff the bubbles high in air,
Puff thy best to keep them

there. Bravo, bravo, Peter M-re! Now the rainbow humbugsa soar, Glittering all with golden hues, Such as haunt the dreams of JewsSome, reflecting mines that lie Under Chili's glowing sky; Some, those virgin pearls that sleep Cloistered in the southern deep ;

Others, as if lent a ray
From the streaming Milky Way,
Glistening o'er with curds and whey
From the cows of Alderney!
Now's the moment who shall first
Catch the bubbles ere they burst ?
Run, ye squires, ye viscounts, run,
Br-gd-n, T-ynh-m, P-]m-r-

John W-lks, junior, runs beside ye,
Take the good the knaves provide ye !3
See, with upturned eyes and hands,
Where the Chareman, Br-gd-n,

Gaping for the froth to fall
Down his swallow-lye and all !
See !-

But, hark, my time is out-
Now, like some great waterspout,
Scattered by the cannon's thunder,
Burst, ye bubbles, all asunder!
[Here the stage darkens-a discordant

crash is heard from the orchestrathe broken bubbles descend in a saponaceous but uncleanly mist over the heads of the Dramatis Personæ, and the scene drops, leaving the bubble-hunters-all in the suds.)



'Twas evening time, in the twilight

sweet I was sailing along, when --- whom

should I meet,

· Strong indications of character may be ing the splendid habiliments of the soldier, sometimes traced in the rhymes to names. apostrophizes him, “Thou rainbow ruffian!" Marvell thought so, when he wrote:

3 'Lovely Thais sits beside thee, 'Sir Edward Sutton,

Take the good the Gods provide thee.' The foolish knight who rhymes to mutton.'

• 8o called by a sort of Tuscan dulcification of • An humble imitation of one of our modern the ch in the word 'Chairman.' poets, who, in a poem againsi war, after describ


you !'

But a turtle journeying o'er the sea,

COTTON AND CORN. ‘On the service of his Majesty !' When I spied him first, in the twilight dim,

Said Cotton to Coru t'other day, I did not know what to make of him ; As they met, and exchanged a saluteBut said to myself-as slow he plied (Squire Corn in his cabriolet, His fins, and rolled from side to side, Poor Cotton, half famished, on foot)Conceitedly over the watery path• "Tis my Lord of St-w-li taking a Great Squire, if it isn't uncivil

bath ; And I hear him now, among the fishes, Look down on a hungry poor devil


To hint at starvation before you, Quoting Vattel and Burgerdiscius !'

And give him some bread, I implore But, no-twas, indeed, a turtle, wide And plump as ever these eyes

descried; A turtle, juicy as ever yet

Quoth Corn then, in answer to Cotton, Glued up the lips of a baronet !

Perceiving he meant to make free, Ah, much did it grieve my soul to see * Low fellow, you've surely forgotten That an animal of such dignity,

The distance between you and me! Like an absentee, abroad should roam, When he ought to stay and be ate at home.

* To expect that we, peers of high birth,

Should waste our illustrious acres But now 'a change came o'er my dream,' For no other purpose on earth Like the magic lantern's shifting Than to fatten curst calico-makers !

slider ; I looked, and saw by the evening beam, That bishops to bobbins should bend, On the back of that turtle sate a

Should stoop from their bench's subrider,

limity, A goodly man, with an eye so merry, Great dealers in lawn, to befriend I knew 'twas our Foreign Secretary, Your contemptible dealers in dimity! Who there, at his ease, did sit and smile, Like Waterton on his crocodile ; Cracking such jokes, at every motion,

• No-vile manufacture! ne'er harbour As made the turtle squeak with glee,

A hope to be fed at our boards ;And own that they gave him a lively Base offspring of Arkwright the barber, notion

What claim canst thou have upon Of what his own forced-meat balls

lords? would be.

'No-thanks to the taxes and debt, So on the Sec., in his glory, went Over that briny element,

And the triumph of papero'er guineas,

Our race of Lord Jemmys, as yet, Waving his hand, as he took farewell,

May defy your wholerabbleof Jennys/" With a graceful air, and bidding me tell Inquiring friends that the turtle and he Were gone on a foreign embassy- So saying, whip, crack, and away To soften the heart of a Diplomate, Went Corn in his cab through the Who is known to doat upon verdant fat, throng, And to let admiring Europe see, So madly, I heard them all say That calipash and calipee

Squire Oorn would be doron before Are the English forms of Diplomacy ! long.




Fessus jam sudat asellus,
Parce illi; vestrum delicium est asinus.-Virgil. Copa.
A DONKEY, whose talent for burdens was wondrous,

So much that you'd swear he rejoiced in a load,
One day had to jog under panniers so pond'rous,

That-down the poor donkey fell, smack on the road.
His owners and drivers stood round in amaze-

What! Neddy, the patient, the prosperous Neddy,
So easy to drive through the dirtiest ways,

For every description of job-work so ready!
One driver (whom Ned might have 'hailed' as a 'brother')}

Had just been proclaiming his donkey's renown,
For vigour, for spirit, for one thing or other,

When, lo, 'mid his praises, the donkey came down !
But, how to upraise him ?-one shouts, t'other whistles,

While Jenky the conjuror, wisest of all,
Declared that an over production' of thistles 2_

(Here Ned gave a stare)—was the cause of his fall.
Another wise Solomon cries, as he passes,

*There, let him alone, and the fit will soon cease
The beast has been fighting with other jackasses,

And this is his mode of * transition to peace.
Some looked at his hoofs, and, with learned grimaces,

Pronounced that too long without shoes he had gone-
'Let the blacksmith provide him a sound metal basis,

(The wiseacres said), and he's sure to jog on.'
But others who gabbled a jargon half Gaelic,

Exclaimed, Hoot awa, mon, you're a' gane astray,'—
And declared that, 'whoe'er might prefer the metallic,

They'd shoe their own donkeys with papier maché.'
Meanwhile the poor Neddy, in torture and fear,

Lay under his pannier, scarce able to groan,
And—what was still dolefuller-lending an ear

To advisers whose ears were a match for his own.
At length, a plain rustic, whose wit went so far

As to see others' folly, roared out, as he passed-
'Quick-off with the panniers, all dolts as ye are,

Or your prosperous Neddy will soon kick his last !' Alluding to an early poem of Mr. Coleridge's the House, 'that we must return at last to the addressed to an ass, and beginning, 'I hail thee, food of our ancestors,' somebody asked Mr. T. brother!

what food the gentleman meant ? — Thistles, I * A certain country gentleman having said in suppose,' answered Mr. T.

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